My Story:

It all started on one eerie Saturday night. The air was crisp and cool. The moon was waning. Preparations were being made. On this particular night, I was hosting one of the biggest parties of the year. 100 of my closest friends and I were all going to have the times of our lives...or so I thought.

At around 10:30 PM they started arriving in droves. It wasn't long before my house was near full capacity. That didn't stop people from packing in more. Who would want to miss out on free beer? The music was cranking, the 2 kegs were being worked overtime, and the line outside the bathroom was extending.

By midnight, I had already hit on and hooked up with one or two girls. I couldn't really tell/remember how many. For all I know it could have just been one really large chick. All I knew is that I had a good buzz going and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Moments later, some girl started screaming as she made her way to the nearest exit. Mass confusion erupted and the herding reflex kicked in for all of my guests. This hysterical girl set off a stampede that cleared the house out. I wasn't going anywhere though. After all, this was my house. So I swam upstream against the current of fleeing patrons to where the girl's screaming had originated. It was the bathroom.

I knew this couldn't be good. The smell in the air only reaffirmed my suspicions. I crept closer, careful to time and slow down my breaths to prevent taking any unnecessary whiffs. I opened the bathroom door to a toilet bowl nastier and browner than anything I had ever seen. With my shirt covering my nose and my hand tucked inside my sleeve, I flushed the toilet. The water went down and then rose back up, but it was still as dark and putrid as it was a moment ago, perhaps even more so. I had to evacuate for a moment. The smell was getting to me, and it would take the toilet a minute before I could flush again anyway. I took a breath and ran back in to flush and run. The water swirled down, but came back brown. This confirmed my worst fear. I had been upper-decked.

My party went awry, my bathroom was unusable, and my home was left smelling like the world's largest outhouse. I never caught the culprit and have been scarred for life. I would never wish such an unbearable act on anyone, and encourage you all to share your stories and educate your friends and families on the horrific act of upper-decking. My hope is that through awareness, together we can eradicate the upper-decking epidemic.